defying gravity

I know...But I don't want it - NO - I can't want it
anymore...

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same

I changed my room's layout today... (besides changing my multiply layout).. I cleaned... general cleaning... well basically it's not my room but its where i'm staying right now... it was cluttered just like my mind was cluttered... but now, it's clearer... at least "my" room is... i added lots of boxes to categorize my stuff (OC alert) and of course my multi-slotted plastic container was once again brought out to organize my small stuff...

I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game

I watched enchanted yesterday... sa san lazaro lang... i was supposed to watch it with cathe sa gateway, but she had class until 5pm... actually, i had class until 5pm... but i decided to ditch it for the wonderful fairy tale movie.... the original plan was to watch it with my sister that afternoon but since she already had this bazaar shopping plan today, she was low on cash... so i asked cathe to watch it with me... too bad, di natuloy un... anyway after the movie, kath z and i met up with gladys and miguel then mcdo for a very very late lunch...syempre the same things happened...kwentuhan at lokohan...then when it was half past 4 we went home....

Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

while i was in san lazaro, caeg texted me, kung gusto ko ba daw bilhin ung sandal thingy... well, i gave in... too soon... parang impulsive buying na text shopping na ewan.... when i went home, i wondered why i gave in too soon... di naman ako ganun, and even if you go shopping with me and actually see me buy a dress after 30 secs of staring at it, believe me, sa bahay palang alam ko na kung ano hahanapin ko, bibilhin ko and i have probably scouted on it over the internet...

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...

After dwelling on my impulsive buy, i started cleaning up my desktop of my soon-to-be reformatted laptop... i know its been affected with spyware and all that, but usually i would put cleaning the desktop off until the night before i plan to have it reformatted... at di lang ordinary burning... i filed them in neat stacks according to the appropriate category... there was alot thought to that



Can't I make you understand, you're having delusions of grandeur...?
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so

after that i watched just my luck... chick flick grabe... i can't take the chick flickness but i'm not regretting watching it even though it made me sleep at about 3am...

Some things I cannot change
But 'till I try, I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of

I started studying.. well at least making a reviewer for my toxicology lab quiz on tuesday... i don't usually study... and i don't know why i'm studying right now...

Losing love - I guess I have lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'm trying to think... but i can't... blank ---- blank---- my blankness is deeper than you think it is... blank--- i don't know if i'm forcing my self not to think or i just can't think of anything

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye

for those who actually know me, impulsiveness (whether it may be buying expensive sandals or watching movies i can download on the internet) - cleaning up (general cleaning to the smallest nooks and crannies) and studying---- is a very deadly combination... people know...people know SOMETHING IS WRONG... but i'm not sure they really know the real deal... i'm not even sure if i know the real deal... pero---- blank

tamad na ako magsabi... not because i don't want to say it... but because it's all in my head... i'm afraid pag sinabi ko mawawala na ulit sa utak ko...

I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...

as expected this week was--- interesting... very very interesting... gracy although reminded me of porcupines... the oh-so-cute porcupines... but with all the "interesting-ness" of this week, i feel tired... tired... in a desert tired... there's a pool of water in front of me and i'm not sure if it's just a mirage... whatever...drama... bad trip... see now why i hate drama... it's so hard to deal with....

chasty asking me how was my week---- so far, INTANGIBLE...

come with me. Think of what we could do - together.

I'm Limited
Together we're unlimited

I talked to cathe last night though... and wow... that was a first... grabe, spilling of guts ang tawag dun... wala na atang mas gagaan pa sa ganun.... so imagine if we were talking to each other personally (i mean face to face)... i mean no holding back on the details...that was definitely a twist to my week... no maiba ung tone ng discussion... or better, maiba ung topic ng discussion...haha... so happy about that talk... lahat na ng meanness, unforgettableness (what is with -ness??) of moments, and syempre lahat ng spine tingling moment----ness and smile-widening---ness...haha =)

Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been, Glinda,
Dreams the way we planned 'em

to conclude this, while writing this, chasty was asking me what i was thinking.... blank---- in verbatim "alamo ung di mo maput into words pero constantly mong iniisip for no apparent reason"...i'm sorry this is not about love... she told me to chill and stop thinking...parang enjoy the moment lang... im an indecisive person and to that i have already resulted to asking advice from my sister... i need someone to slap me and tell me what i'm doing is wrong... syempre di lang un pinagusapan namin....haha....

i want to try alibiing, going with the flow, kahit ano... but i'm used to having a plan... and when i start with my plan i don't get sidetracked... i used to have a plan... now i'm just BLANK... pero, di pwedeng di magisip.... THOUGHT FREAK...


I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down...

react

Okay this is called 45 FIRST
REACTIONS... type what comes to your
mind first whenever you hear these 45
words. Don't think and don't go back
and change. Doesn't matter how random
just type it! Repost it for all of
your friends.


1. Beer
san mig

2. Food
steamed fish

3. Relationships
supposed to be logical

4. Your CRUSH
is an issue for everyone

5. Song
gotta go on my own way

6. Life
death

7. Color
green

8. Dream Job
diplomat

9. The President
girl

10. Yummy
strawberries covered in chocolate

11. Summer
beach

12. Movie
brady bunch

13. Halloween
pumpkin

14. Sex
safe

15. Religion
catholic

16. Myspace
friendster?

17. Fear
mice

18. Marriage
husband

19. Kleenex
ha-choo

20. SLIPPERS
wannabes

21. SHOES
choose

22. Asians
morena

23. Pizza
mozarella

24. One night stand
loser

25. Cell Phone
text

26. TV Show
house

27: Smoke
pot

28. News
cnn

29: COLLEGE
is ending

30: Highschool Life
has passed

31. Tattoo
fake ones

32. Stars
absent

33. Fitness Center
workout

34. Friends
priceless

35. LOVE
figure of speech

36. Hell
bad

37. Money
no more

38. Heartache
not me

39. Time
is my favorite intangible thing

40. Divorce
for the unhappy

41. Dogs
don't sweat

42. Undies
panties

43. Parents
there

44. Babies
ash wednesday

45. Ballpen
parker

commendable

so we had our defense yesterday, and according to the panelists, our thesis was well, commendable... according to google.com, commendable means "applaudable: worthy of high praise"... if that's not credible enough for you, merriam-webster states that commendable is:

1 : to entrust for care or preservation
2 : to recommend as worthy of confidence or notice
3 : to mention with approbation : praise

so yey me! yey us! three claps for me and my groupmates... YEY!!!

and at last the thesis days are over... and with that behind,we can all move on with our lives... well at least our second sem... which i know will be a breeze... especially because it will practically end by february, and then finally graduation... second sem, probably be easy peasy... and because of that, i opted to leave my dorm...

wow, after 3 schoolyears and 1 semester, i was finally leaving my dorm... the day itself was depressing enough with the dark clouds and the rainfall... the sunday before i exams, i cleaned up my room/ closet for the very last time... it was depressing to actually see myself leave that place... although within the duration of my stay, all you could hear were rants, well, it was really... surprisingly... sad...

no more bed to lie on at lunch time when i'm oh so sleepy... no more side trips to san lazaro when i feel bored.. no more ROOMMATES... who make me laugh when my nerves are jammed up.. who ask for your help, and for whose help you ask... no more... no more... no more late night talks with kath that amidst the tiring day, we could talk endlessly (or at least until 2 am only)..no more agatha, winna, joselle and kath... no more impromptu shopping of stupid things and things i actually need...

so... to cease the emotion while packing, i listened to my high school musical 2 soundtrack, cheesy i know... but nothing else in my playlist did not remind me of the dorm except for those darn cheesy and upbeat songs...

passing that, let's talk about graduation and what will happen after it... my future is so.. blurred... not until i pass my med app for UST's med program, then will my future finally build itself... gosh, swerte nila ken, miguel and lynyrd... buti pa sila, sure na... i have made my vow that if UST won't grant me a scholarship (grabe, ang feeling ko...) then i will finally stop...for good...that's when..