word of the week: frustration

someone is going to kill me when it reads this... but... but i can't help it

this week seemed to be all about frustration... i started the week frustrated and in order to compensate with the feeling, i channeled all my frustrations in to doing my thesis... our thesis... then it turned out to be all the more frustrating... rolling around dust, termites and cobwebs in an un-airconditioned room with no windows and and a falling roof that had no system at all without finding anything was not my idea of doing this thesis... neither was spending 50 pesos on a library card, registering for an hour and stepping into the library proper for less than 5 minutes because yes, we did not find a single journal about our thesis... neither was following around a certain selfish prof who we are doing this thesis for, or begging her to help us with her thesis... neither is.... oh never mind

so there if that isn't frustrating enough for you, well it is... it really is... and when i am frustrated i write... and when i am really frustrated, the frustration will not leave until someone knows... until someone reads...

is it working yet???









shit, i don't think so...

My Serotonin Level is low

I think I need some epi or norepi... Nakakainis...feeling ko ang tanga ko... why oh why did I allow myself to bask in this whirlwind of confusion.. why oh why did I allow myself to bask in this world of emotions when I do know for a fact that it was not my thing and will never be my thing...

Anyway,wifi is up in our dorm now....yey me!

But still...never have I felt that I want to graduate so badly until now...

"pinaghandaan ko na ito"

oo, sa lagay na un, pinaghandaan ko na yun... so imagine what if i didn't prepare myself for what happened last friday... i'd probably just drop dead as soon as i reached the top floor of our flr labs in the botanical garden... grabe... daga... oo takot ako sa daga... at di ordinaryong takot na nagiinarteng takot dahil ako, na hindi umiiyak ay napaiyak ng daga ng 3 beses... nagkapasa ako ng marami nang dahil sa pagtakas sa traumatic experience na ginawa ni lua with the white mice... ganun ako kaduwag pagdating sa daga... kung gaano ako katapang sa mga defense, revalidas, mga confrontations at ibang animals, pagdating sa daga, gumuguho na ang facade that i have long put up to... kaya nakakainis... nakakwala ng respeto... galing sa iba at galing sa sarili...at nakakahiya sa groupmates ko... pero kahit anong gawin pa nila, kahit sabihin pa ni sir na zero ako sa experiment ko, papayag ako dahil di ko kaya... lahat na ata nagawa ko nang dahil sa daga.. umiyak, sumuka, natulala, napaupo sa sahig, napa-whine, nanginig...kaya next week... promise... di na mauulit un...

sana...

its been so long

and i'm lost without you... tell me what i'm gonna do... i've been needing you and wanting you... wondering if you're the same and who's been with you... blah blah...

this is not an emo entry... it's just an entry about.... I'M BACKKK!!!! alive and kicking once again!!! yahhoooo... i totally forgot about my account in blogger... but thanks to jowill, he reminded me that i did mention that even if i switched to multiply, i would still update my blogger... speaking of updating, i do have to update my layout.. kasi pangit at luma na siya... pero saka na... when i have time...

so what's new??? i'm a senior na... yahhooooo!!! yun nga lang katoxican sobra ... adik sa katoxican talaga... and of course it's thesis time and mice time... goshhhh.. hihimatayin na ata ako sa friday pag may daga nang kasama sa experiment.... arrrrggggggg

anyway, what else.... hmmm,.. wala e... still the same, still single but not lonely...hahaha... still sickly but not frail... still... still... still trying... trying to do whatttttttt???

oh well, i was planning to write some philosophical stuff... but enough with thatcrap muna... next time nalang pag nasa mood ako... or pag wala ako sa mood...

oh and yeah... i forgot... aalis na ulit si daddy sa friday... booohooo... wala na maghahatid sa akin sa santolan or mmagbibisita sa akin sa ust... kainis... or wala nang morocco trips... but in six months, babalik ulit siya... yipeee!!!