solo flight.

i can't help but feel lonely today. and I'm blaming it on my fluctuating intra/interpersonal relations. or in lighter words. the hot then cold.

I'd rather have a blanket than a comforter, if you know what i mean.

I guess I never felt this before because I didn't have the need to depend on anyone. well, i still don't feel that way but it would be nice to change the system once and for all. I can survive by myself and want to know if I could survive with everyone else.

I don't know if I'm a people person but I would love to try and be one. No man is an island diba? I guess there is something to be said when I'd rather rant on my blog than to a real human being.

And I know this is so the drama, and is not how I roll but I can't stop thinking about the fact that no one really told me to do this alone. to take the plunge alone. I just thought that it was a given for me and so I never thought of the alternative- to jump in with the herd.

Don't think that I'm complaining because I'm not and frankly I have nothing to complain about. The realization just dawned to me and now the fear has caught up. This is probably a step up from not being able to recognize what kind of feelings i am feeling.

that and I just want the lonely people to know that they are not alone at being alone.

OHMYGADDDDDD

hahaha... God is sooooooooooo good. ahhhh! thank you Lord kahit naging masama akong bata.


eeeeppp! at last may direction na buhay ko...

apparently i looooove confusing myself.

just for kicks i open jobsdb.com everyday and check out non-pharma related jobs and send my resume out.

stupid. stupid. stupid.

i did it for fun.

but when my dream job, in a school i think i'll loooove because it reminds me of my school in Malaysia (Sayfol International School), calls and asks me to do a demo about types of energy for grade 5 students, dammmmmn i'm confused.

bison is the rate-limiting factor. every decision from now on is based on my results of the agency that takes 5 weeks to decide on whether we make it in their program.

so see the dilemma.

i want it to be my fallback but my mom hates the idea. she wants me to "stick to pharma"

rar. the demo's on wednesday and i doubt bison will release their results by then.

btw the school's: http://www.reedleyschool.com/ (i set it to the page I'd love to show you-- with the reedley houses reminding me of the sayfol houses (clover, marigold, shamrock, violet)

what to do? what to do?

apparently i looooove confusing myself.

just for kicks i open jobsdb.com everyday and check out non-pharma related jobs and send my resume out.

stupid. stupid. stupid.

i did it for fun.

but when my dream job, in a school i think i'll loooove because it reminds me of my school in Malaysia (Sayfol International School), calls and asks me to do a demo about types of energy for grade 5 students, dammmmmn i'm confused.

bison is the rate-limiting factor. every decision from now on is based on my results of the agency that takes 5 weeks to decide on whether we make it in their program.

so see the dilemma.

i want it to be my fallback but my mom hates the idea. she wants me to "stick to pharma"

rar. the demo's on wednesday and i doubt bison will release their results by then.

what to do? what to do?

too lazy to blog

but im blogging because i did promise sammie a blog about haunting.

so monday, sam and i totally pigged and chilled out. sta lucia lang. it was 2pm,we had nothing to do so her dad drove us to the mall (perks of having ang overprotected cousin -->free rides!). original plan was to watch 17 again only. so we were 30mins early for the next show so we bought our McDonald's, i did miss my double cheeseburger with large fries. then the show started. zac efron was hot! but sterling knight was hotter! sam and i were totally digging knight more than efron.

movie finished, but we weren't ready to go home. she wanted to watch t2, i wanted to watch fast and the furious. we settled for haunting in connecticut. but the show didn't start for a good hour and a half. so we looked for food. and found ice cream! yey! then pizza. then more soda. and finally the haunt begins!

i know rotten tomatoes gave it a "rotten" review but man, by the end of the show, my body hurt because of the fear my cousin and i were bottling up inside. i mean seriously. we were like, "there's more?". the scaring never ended until the last minute. and what's spookier than it being a true story!

just google it/watch it for more info.

****
apparently the government has become more strict with issuing licenses. you have to have a tin number now. and fyi, it is so freakin hard to get one. the process is simple. but i had to go back and forth the marikina branch for like 3 times only to find out that I can't register in marikina. so we had to go to taytay and wait for 3 hours just to find out that we have to go back the next day just for a friggin number. rar.

****
and finally. i'm driving. hah. hmmm..tell you more when i'm not too lazy to think of words.

in the meantime, follow me on twitter.