solo flight.

i can't help but feel lonely today. and I'm blaming it on my fluctuating intra/interpersonal relations. or in lighter words. the hot then cold.

I'd rather have a blanket than a comforter, if you know what i mean.

I guess I never felt this before because I didn't have the need to depend on anyone. well, i still don't feel that way but it would be nice to change the system once and for all. I can survive by myself and want to know if I could survive with everyone else.

I don't know if I'm a people person but I would love to try and be one. No man is an island diba? I guess there is something to be said when I'd rather rant on my blog than to a real human being.

And I know this is so the drama, and is not how I roll but I can't stop thinking about the fact that no one really told me to do this alone. to take the plunge alone. I just thought that it was a given for me and so I never thought of the alternative- to jump in with the herd.

Don't think that I'm complaining because I'm not and frankly I have nothing to complain about. The realization just dawned to me and now the fear has caught up. This is probably a step up from not being able to recognize what kind of feelings i am feeling.

that and I just want the lonely people to know that they are not alone at being alone.