my near-blind experience

yesterday, i went to church at 6am then after the mass we stayed to have a novena... we had to read the booklet, then i realized my right eye was totally jammed... my right peripheral vision to be exact... but i was in denial so i kept looking at my right side with turning my head, then looking at my left side... and it was totally blurred like the night before which the spell only lasted for about 3 mins... i didn't believe it the night before because after i got out of the bathroom, my vision was clear again... so when it happened to me while praying, i tried to convince myself that my eyes were just tires and as soon as i get home, i'll resume into deep slumber... and then i started reading the booklet again, realizing that i couldn't read that well...it was as if my lens in my right eye cracked or it was the humor of my right eye causing less or too much pressure...or whatever... so i started to freak out... but then i tried to calm myself because i just couldn't accept it happening to me... but i tried to convince myself that it would be fine until my body betrayed me... i sat down... "shucks, my worst fear is happening to me,"i thought..i'd rather die than lose my vision, seriously... i'm scared of being blind more than being dead...then felt like vomitting... so my mom brought me outside and my body just jerked up, and then i felt faint, but check my right peripheral vision and it was fine again... god, thank you i'm not blind... my first thought when it all went blurred was how would read all of the books i want to read in the world, all the sequels of the stuff i read...my school books too, i would never enjoy reading again...

my tita asked my mom if i was always like this, she said not really, then i remembered my spell last february... but then, i was really really stressed... then she said, "kaya pala ayaw niya sumama sa ate niya maggrocery kahapon" then i remembered oh, yeah... i felt oddly tired yesterday... and sick... and i couldn't stand an hour facing the computer... so i figured, i was sick since the other day...

oh well, i thought a good sleep would take the faint feeling away, but then, i never felt so weak, so dry, and so dizzy.. i tried eating, bacon, yum... but no thanks, i couldn't even stare at it for long... i did some of the chores (diba, kinaya ko pa un) then was ready to hit the sack again, but i couldn't go to sleep, but it was alright because my mom was light on me that day... they even cooked roasted lemon chicken which i knew was really tasty.. i just couldn't enjoy it that much although i had a pretty fair share of serving... i just had to lie down again, and what i have been trying to do for countless nights, i went to sleep right away...

then this morning, we went to the doctor, who explained a lot of things, not about what happened yesterday, but why i'm so thin, even though i eat tons of food... well, it is certified that my metabolism is fast, i need sugar!!! woohooo!!! chocolates galore... but even though i heard that, i was not convinced, first, because i never told anyone about my near-blind experience as i like to call it...second, because it's every day that i feel faint and oh last night (3am), i was already awake for at least an hour and i had to go to the bathroom and i stood up and just literally fell diagonally... luckily, the wall was there to catch my fall... and when i straightened up, my world was just turning... but i really needed to go to the bathroom... so anyway, that passed and I knew today would be a new day... not totally new though... i really felt dizzy in the mall... man, what is happening to me?!?

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on a lighter note,the american idol results were out.. i really wanted chris to win, but he wasn't even in the final two... haha... so i wish... anyway, i think taylor did deserve it, although i was sure that kathryn would win... anyway, he was the first guy to win in a guy-girl finals... congrats! although i doubt you'll read this...haha

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success. You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy! An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing. And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

You Should Honeymoon in Europe!

You are a traditional romantic at heart... With a taste for fine wine, muesums and beautiful walks. You and your sweetie should get romantic in a cafe in Paris Or get a Eurail pass - and see as many cities as possible! Suggested destinations: Paris, Venice, London, Greece

Where Should You Go On Your Honeymoon?

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart

What Season Are You?

Seriously? Seriously… SERIOUSLY…

Why is everything in my life going the opposite way of what I want it to be? Okay not mine...

My one and only bet in American Idol, Chris was just voted out last night… Deal is, he lost to the girl who couldn’t even give the right Elvis beat… so seriously?

Grey’s Anatomy is a different thing… I’ll confess that I cheat when it comes to grey’s anatomy… I read the episodes before I download them, so I could decide until where I am downloading so the dream of their happy ending wouldn’t be ruined… so I won’t be soooooo affected after watching every freakin episode… The Shepherd-Shepherd-Grey fiasco is just intriguing… The Alex-Izzie thing is just sooooo frustrating… We all know alex likes izzie but is just such an ass that’s why he did the nurse… and…. And…. I don’t know… the only good thing I’m watching is cristina and burke and george… so, seriously?! I specifically said that I would download until this episode where everything for me is still right… well, the issue I would want to imprint in my mind, was wrecked because in the same episode, everything went wrong that easily… oh, and the patients were alright…

Reminded me of the days I was obsessing about The Associates… Nope that was not last year, because a year ago, I was obsessing with the radio… I got so depressed with the fate of Robyn and Jonah (separately of course with their cases, careers and all that...) That was exactly two years ago… When I hesitated to move to a place where I’d be all alone (interpretation: I got hooked with the story so bad…) I had to ask my friend (hey there cambro!) to watch the season finale/series ender to tell me the detailed story there is to it… because you know when I cheat, there are no details…

Man, doctors and lawyers… what can make their twisted lives worse…The thing is, I know its not reality… so why do I still watch? What should I do? Take the only thing that remains to entertain me while I’m awake? I probably just affect myself too much because it's the only way to put color to my life... enough to paint it black and white...Maybe I should go back to the radio... It’s less stress in grueling every characters’ lives… But then again, now I can’t stay up too late to finish one episode of you know what…

But then again I think I can… I might… so…whatever..

Your Existing Situation
Readily participates in things that provide excitement or stimulation. Wants to feel exhilarated.

Your Stress Sources
Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.
Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.

Your Actual Problem
Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.

totally whacked...

my summer job so far has just been... urrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh..... i'm self-employed for all of you guys who are asking... it pays good... at first they offered me two thousand.... i figured it was better than nothing and better than sulking in front of the tv.... now their offering an iPAQ.... hmmmmm.... good good... i'm still negotiating an XDA... hahaha.... whaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt.... i'm making 8 movies for them, scanning and sorting all their pictures... i deserve it... i think...

anyway, what's totally whacked is the fact that before i started i was thinking of reformatting my laptop... so in the middle of scanning a ton of pictures, it totally broke down... hmmmm... now something's terribly wrong with it.... gggggggggggggrrrrrrrrr.....

grown up stuff... part II

haha... yup, since my mom was sick, i had to do her errands....like go to the bank.... going to SSS was one thing and going to the bank was another BIG thing... and when i say big, i mean big... i mean just one wrong digit, everything will get screwed up.... so anyway, i withdrew (already know how to do that), deposited, went to another bank, tried to deposit a cheque in the atm machine which was totally whacked, so i tried to deposit it inside the bank... it was a success.. then we went to the market.... and uhmm... its not that eeeeewwwww like you're thinking... so anyway, we just bought a few things and went out of there...

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sam invited me to go swimming in forest hills... i decided to grab the chance since i knew that that would be my last opportunity to go swimming since i would be starting my summer job in a week... we arrived there and found a bunch of people staring at us... my tito asked his friend what was up.... they were marines.... at mukhang lasing na sila... the reason why we didn't want to push our luck of squeezing in the pool.

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i'm planning to change my blog layout... hmmmmm.... i'm thinking something cool... something egotistical again... hahaha.... not sure yet.... planning to put a movie corner a music corner... and a blog of course... but i'm still not sure on how to do that yet... yet.... i'm going to think about it....

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friendster finally uploaded my pictures... i think ramelaar got sick and tired of me trying to upload the same pictures over and over again...hahaha...