Thursday, May 25, 2006

my near-blind experience

yesterday, i went to church at 6am then after the mass we stayed to have a novena... we had to read the booklet, then i realized my right eye was totally jammed... my right peripheral vision to be exact... but i was in denial so i kept looking at my right side with turning my head, then looking at my left side... and it was totally blurred like the night before which the spell only lasted for about 3 mins... i didn't believe it the night before because after i got out of the bathroom, my vision was clear again... so when it happened to me while praying, i tried to convince myself that my eyes were just tires and as soon as i get home, i'll resume into deep slumber... and then i started reading the booklet again, realizing that i couldn't read that well...it was as if my lens in my right eye cracked or it was the humor of my right eye causing less or too much pressure...or whatever... so i started to freak out... but then i tried to calm myself because i just couldn't accept it happening to me... but i tried to convince myself that it would be fine until my body betrayed me... i sat down... "shucks, my worst fear is happening to me,"i thought..i'd rather die than lose my vision, seriously... i'm scared of being blind more than being dead...then felt like vomitting... so my mom brought me outside and my body just jerked up, and then i felt faint, but check my right peripheral vision and it was fine again... god, thank you i'm not blind... my first thought when it all went blurred was how would read all of the books i want to read in the world, all the sequels of the stuff i read...my school books too, i would never enjoy reading again...

my tita asked my mom if i was always like this, she said not really, then i remembered my spell last february... but then, i was really really stressed... then she said, "kaya pala ayaw niya sumama sa ate niya maggrocery kahapon" then i remembered oh, yeah... i felt oddly tired yesterday... and sick... and i couldn't stand an hour facing the computer... so i figured, i was sick since the other day...

oh well, i thought a good sleep would take the faint feeling away, but then, i never felt so weak, so dry, and so dizzy.. i tried eating, bacon, yum... but no thanks, i couldn't even stare at it for long... i did some of the chores (diba, kinaya ko pa un) then was ready to hit the sack again, but i couldn't go to sleep, but it was alright because my mom was light on me that day... they even cooked roasted lemon chicken which i knew was really tasty.. i just couldn't enjoy it that much although i had a pretty fair share of serving... i just had to lie down again, and what i have been trying to do for countless nights, i went to sleep right away...

then this morning, we went to the doctor, who explained a lot of things, not about what happened yesterday, but why i'm so thin, even though i eat tons of food... well, it is certified that my metabolism is fast, i need sugar!!! woohooo!!! chocolates galore... but even though i heard that, i was not convinced, first, because i never told anyone about my near-blind experience as i like to call it...second, because it's every day that i feel faint and oh last night (3am), i was already awake for at least an hour and i had to go to the bathroom and i stood up and just literally fell diagonally... luckily, the wall was there to catch my fall... and when i straightened up, my world was just turning... but i really needed to go to the bathroom... so anyway, that passed and I knew today would be a new day... not totally new though... i really felt dizzy in the mall... man, what is happening to me?!?

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on a lighter note,the american idol results were out.. i really wanted chris to win, but he wasn't even in the final two... haha... so i wish... anyway, i think taylor did deserve it, although i was sure that kathryn would win... anyway, he was the first guy to win in a guy-girl finals... congrats! although i doubt you'll read this...haha

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