every time i remember what i did last night, i get goosebumps and feel nauseous
i want to throw up
it has been more than 24 hours since i did it and i can still feel its movement from my fingertips
bleeech
how it struggled and looked as i shoved the gavage down his throat
i can't think of it
i can't think straight
i have not overcome my ultimate fear,
but i can't afford to lose the battle with pharmacology now that the end is near
it was a "do or die" moment
but never again
never again will that happen
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