hah.

oo na..kadramahan na kung kadramahan ang magiging tingin niyo sa blog na to... but this isn't a rant post or a drama post or a sad post.. kasi wala naman dapat ika-sad... diba ikai?

haha..ganito un:

thursday, january 10, 2008
di sumabay sa akin si tumalad, so i had time to think about what i hate thinking about... the future... bwahaha... rewinding to february 2007, i applied for nmat (something i vowed i wouldn't take seriously kasi ayoko matulad kay ate...bwahaha...sorry ate). i took the test, got my results and suddenly got hyped about going to med school... so ayan, cge na, nagreminisce na ang tawag sa ginawa ko nung thursday night.. then it struck me that i don't really want to see something that would keep my hopes high. explanation: open house ng ateneo med school nung saturday na un (kahapon) and i was planning to go since lynyrd has been inviting me since last year... so there, i texted him, that i wouldn't be going to the open house nalang. i mean, isn't it harder to accept something that isn't going to happen if you keep going to/doing stuff that is directly associated to it.

friday, january 11, 2008
i stayed home, not wanting to waste another day with a boring review class. then, ikai texted me about what time we were to meet up the next day for ateneo. i explained that i wasn't going and to ask lynyrd or ken or miguel about it.. then we started chatting about this wanting to go to med school thing that probably at the back of our minds, we have half convinced ourselves that it will be an impossible mission. then lynyrd texted at sinabi ang "wag mong isipin na hindi ka makakapagmed"...haha... hayyyyy...

saturday, january 12, 2008
open house day! i didn't go...haha...i started wondering what happened to that open house. then hours later, i received a text from lynyrd that he changed his mind about asmph...

sunday, january 13, 2008
from the moment i woke up, well, i started thinking about med again... haha... o diba.. adik.. then miguel asked me kung magaapply pa ba ako... hmmm..magaapply pa ba ako? haha... ayan na ang masaklap na tanong.. i'll probably give it one last shot...haha... sounds familiar? sinabi ko na yan e... sinabi ko na na ust lang ang aapplyan ko, pag hindi naging ok, e di ok... iaccept.. but then, here i am...nagpapakapathetic na nageemail sa admissions ng mga schools na willing magbigay ng scholarship.. AS IF!haha...

oh well, ito lang masasabi ko:

1. i can't talk to it with my parents without anything concrete that would actually make them CONSIDER (consider lang ha... hindi pa allow yan...haha) my situation.
   
2. kahit sabihin mong iaaccept mo, mahirap paniwalaan na ganun nalang... or in better words, the truth hurts...haha... it'll be so hard to believe that after all those applications with my own money, it'll turn out that way... am i making any sense?
3. i told myself, i wouldn't do/dwell on med as much as my sister.... hindi nga...more pa ata... siya nga lang, vocal siya...haha...let's see the difference
   
4. pag hindi ako naging doctor, mas magiging mayaman ako sa mga doctor/med students na yan! haha... 4 years kayo nagaaral, ako 4 years na nagiipon nun (bitter!)
   
5. one day, whatever happens to me, well, wala naman na ako magagawa kung un ung mangyari sa akin diba?

new year, new ways... go with the flow lang ba dapat? ah ewan... basta magaaral nalang muna ako sa SA, marketing at rizal...dahil nag compute ako ng current over-all average ko... and i'm not happy... i'm like 0.2 above my average limit... errrr... nooooooo