i cant call it homesick because it is not my current residency neither have i been a full blooded malaysian..so i am going to call it nostalgia
last saturday, on our drive around bataan, there was this place we passed by that looked exactly like taipeng and i couldn't help but shout "shocks parang malaysia"... someone commented "antagal tagal na nun,di mo pa rin makalimutan" then another commented that "pagpasensyahan mo na ang pilipinas"...
first of all, oo, di ko siya makalimutan...because its my safe place...because whenever i feel blue or stressed i just think of my happy place--and that would be malaysia... i can't forget how convenient and easy everything is..i can't forget how i look forward to going to school and leaving early but coming back even before Barney or the Smurfs is finished...i can't forget how i just go downstairs and i am instantly in a mall...i can't forget how i can sit in the floor for hours in bookstores and start reading their books without being reprimanded...i miss sitting in libraries browsing through magazines.. i miss being one ride away everything is..may it be an amusement park or a province... i miss curry puffs and roti chanais,ipoh chicken and chinese fried rice,noodles at noodlehouse andl hokienmees.. i miss satays and braised duck, clay pots and bbqed cucumbers, chicken wings... i miss pasar malams and stupid english shows...i miss shallow malay sitcoms and funny chinese dramas... i miss culture...i miss singing Negara Ku every mornins...i miss swimming every afternoon... i miss driving through the city but still seeing gardens and trees.. i miss being relaxed and yet still on time... . i miss it... i miss HOME...
second, i don't spite the philippines... it's just after 10 years of living here, i just can't seem to adapt to what is being offered to me... i can't seem to understand why are we so theoretical... why do we have to talk about what's right when we are no good at doing it... after 10 years, i can't seem to accept something that has opened its arms to me...i have made lots of good memories... but somehow, it never fulfilled me like malaysia did... the only plus side is my friends that are truly genuine... but not even that can stop me from thinking that i want to bring them with me... probably the reason why even if i've lived here for 10 years,i have to get out to actually relieve myself from stress... i love the philippines...and i'm not supposed to say these... i love the philippines, but i don't know if i can/should stay...i love the philippines... i really do...
someone tell me where home is...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
home is where your heart is. haha.. *loser idea which is probably true rin naman sometimes...* actually. there is just something different form manila. i myself find it better to live in cebu kasi mas relaxed ako don. doon, parang anlayo ko sa problema. at kung andoon lang talaga ang mga kaibigan ko... i think i will probably live there na. haha.:)
dun ka na??? paano na kita bibisitahin... alamo seryoso tong blog na to, as in the morning of the day i wrote this blog, while i was riding the pedicab, i literally told myself, "ayoko na pumasok, gusto ko magboard ng plane at bumalik na doon" =(
eh kung pwede lang talaga doon na tumira. doon na talaga... andun pa mostly ang relatives... tapos beach is a few minutes away lang. pati mall. few minutes away lang. tapos mango chips. mango. ohw well. pero mei point rin ung iba. baka kaya malayo tayo sa place na gusto natin eh para mapreserve ung idea natin noon. na ung essence niya as our "true-blue home" will be kept kung wala tayo doon as we experience life's hell.
true true... in more simple terms, so it would remain your happy place...kasi pag matagal ka na din don, it'll just be all too ordinary to you...
Post a Comment